Relationships are Complicated + Unpredictable

January 21, 2017  •  Leave a Comment

Relationships are Complicated + Unpredictable

 

Is it just me or is it a full time job to have relationships?! Whether it’s just a friend, family member, significant other…You’re having to make time for this person, show them that you care for them, “heart” ALL of their social media posts so they know you see them, tell them nice things about themselves, build them up, etc. I can list 100’s of things that we have to do to maintain a relationship with someone but WHY does it have to be so complicated?  WHY does it have to be so draining? I ask myself this a lot. Aside from maintaining relationships, I’m running my own business, handling all of my finances, taking care of a 5 year old, while still attempting to work on myself. 

 

At the end of the day, I conclude with, “I rather be solely on my own, than build relationships that are unpredictable.” Realistically, people are unpredictable. I have this bad habit of trying to read people’s minds and dissect their thoughts but it doesn’t always make sense. Ever since I was younger, relationships have been complicated. A new best friend every other week in middle school, friends getting jealous about other friends, boyfriends who make you feel guilty for trying to do anything for yourself, family members who never build you up, I mean seriously, I could go on for days but why? It’s not going to make me any better of a person to worry about those who have underlying issues themselves. 

As the years have gone on, I’ve learned that you can invest time, money, and emotions into people, but you don’t really know what you will get in return. I have this terrible trait for loving everyone but never letting anyone truly in. Sure I get upset when people hurt my feelings or if people don’t like me, but I get over it within 24 hours. I think to myself, “If they don’t bring value to my life, why do I need them?” Throwing away friendships is the worst thing I feel like anyone can do. We all have friends that we could live without but would we truly want to? I know my friends need space from me at times and vice versa, but why throw away something good because we live in a world of hate?

 

I’m not going to sit here and say that 2017 has “renewed me” but I went into 2015 with the mindset that, “If my friends are happy, I’m happy for them.” I no longer stress for them or try to control what happens in their lives. If someone hurts them, then I’m there for them. If someone brings them a box of candy and they want to share the good news, I’m there for them. That outlook alone has changed my life ever since.

 

Be happy for those who are happy, and comfort those who are sad – 2015

 

Then, 2016 happened and lets just say it was a heck of year…I didn’t go into it with goals, I just new that for once in my life, I was going to make myself happy and live for me. Living for ME entailed: struggles, the loss of friends, loved ones turning against me, friends betraying me, etc. Sounds brutal right? But you know what else it entailed? God allowed new people into my life and for previously broken relationships to be restored.

 

Living for me – 2016

 

Oh hey, we’re in 2017 and life just got a little clearer…Kidding, I’m still working on that. You know what 2017 has taught me already? I’m ok with being alone, I’m ok with people walking out of my life, I’m ok with people walking into my life, I’m ok with knowing that relationships are complicated and unpredictable…Do you know why? Because I’m still me. Day in and day out, I’m constantly working on myself and my relationship with God. I know he does things for a reason and I have to put trust in him. I can’t fix people, I can’t always read peoples minds, and I surely can’t control people. We all have issue’s we’re dealing with and that’s OK! It’s when we learn to step back and be open to mending those relationships when the time is right, that shows growth in our own character.

 

Be patient, for God knows who deserves you in their life – 2017

 

YOU ARE MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER KNOW <3

 

xoxo Angelina


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